Why Empathy in Leadership Communication Matters
We live a world of noise and chaos. It is also a lonely world. “A 2018 Cigna study of 20,000 Americans found that most people consider themselves "lonely," based on the UCLA Loneliness Scale. (A widely adopted academic measure used to gauge loneliness.)” (1)There are many reasons for this, and the solutions seem daunting. However, there is one key ingredient that we can integrate into our personal and professional lives that combat loneliness. It is called empathy. We are all dying for it.
I have the honor of coaching executives and mid-level managers in their business communication. We work on aspects of communication ranging from internal conversations to keynote presentations. The first place I guide my clients is to consider the needs, desires, and fears of the people they are communicating with. What do they know about whom they are speaking to or with? What makes their heart sing? What keeps them up at night?
The results of getting to know who we are speaking with are profound in two ways – we feel connected to the other person on a new level, and they feel seen and respected. It is a win-win. We can begin to create a sense of belonging and being known through our empathetic communication.
How do we create the time to notice the other? Here are some guidelines:
1. We cannot take our lenses off and look through the lenses of someone else. Our lenses are part of our history, culture, and background. What we can do is “honor people’s perspectives as truth, even if they are different from ours.” (2)
2. To do this, we need to be curious about their world and how they work in it.
3. This requires being a learner and not a knower.(2)
Questions to ask yourself to be a learner:
1. Whom are you speaking with? What are their demographics and psychographics
2. What motivates them? Why are they part of the team?
3. What are they concerned about around the topic?
4. How can you partner with them to solve a problem?
5. How might they resist or agree? Also, why?
6. Where do you have common ground?
Internal communication example: Imagine that Joe, a white, middle-aged, middle-class manager is speaking to another manager, Kenna - who is a young, black, middle-class female. They disagree on the value of rolling out a new team plan. Kenna and Joe cannot put on the lenses of the other, but they can be curious about the other. They can use language such as: “My experience leads me to believe that this approach will not work. “ or “Tell me more about why you think it will work.”
Presentation example: I worked with a world-renowned entomologist, Florence Dunkel on a keynote speech. She was nervous about presenting a controversial idea to the entomology community. She began the speech process by considering these audience questions. After she understood the concerns and point of view of the audience, she approached the presentation with empathy for the audience instead of fear for herself. The result was that the audience felt a connection with her and she revived a standing ovation.
These communication strategies help us to connect with each other. It can start by asking a simple question about the other. Communication can be an incredible space to decrease the loneliness gap.
At Dart Studio, our passion is helping professionals and change leaders communicate well. For it is when people understand each other, that change can happen.
Reach out if you want to discuss how to connect with your audience with empathy.
All the Best,
Heather Dart Heefner, owner, Dart Studio
Sources:
1. https://www.gingerpublicspeaking.com/article/inspire-through-empathy-part-1
2. Brown, Brene. “Dare to Lead.” Random House, NY
